Welcome & Why Stories Matter

SPEAKER_03 0:18

What's up, Lifehouse family? Welcome back to the Life Talk Podcast. Man, always excited to be coming to our listeners with an episode and opportunity to connect. And uh man, hopefully many of you have been following along with us this year in 2026. On Mondays, we've been going through the gospel of Luke. Really had a great opportunity to dig into God's word, touch on a lot of various topics. So we pray that's been a blessing. However, Life Talk was meant to be an opportunity for Lifehouse to know Lifehouse. And so we want to stay true to our roots. We want to have the opportunity to bring you powerful stories, impactful stories of just God's faithfulness in many lives. And we've been blessed to have so many people here at Lifehouse Church who have seen the transformation of the gospel. So we want to continue that uh this year. And so it's a joy for me. It'll be a familiar voice. Uh, have with me Rico DeSilva. Rico, how's it going, man?

SPEAKER_00 1:16

I am doing outstanding.

SPEAKER_03 1:18

Outstanding, man. That's that might be the top. You know, it must be like pretty good, you know, man. Outstanding. I think you are one of the most positive guys I know. So that is definitely outstanding.

SPEAKER_00 1:29

That's that got God woke me up this morning to make a difference. Amen. And I choose not to complain. So outstanding is the word for the day.

SPEAKER_03 1:38

In all circumstances, yes, I know the secret. So, but yeah, so for the listeners, you've heard Rico this month in February, if you've been following along and uh the chapters of Luke that we've been going through, a lot of great comments he's had, has a lot of uh very insightful things. I think every time you're like the last guy, you're like waiting on our see what they say. Then I'm gonna come in with this hard-hitting comment at the end. So, but no, it's been great to have you on that. But I'm excited to really just dig into your story and hear a little bit more about God's faithfulness in your life, how you got to where you're at in your walk in faith. So maybe just start at the beginning. Tell us a little bit about where you're from growing up, you know, what was what was your childhood and and early life like?

SPEAKER_00 2:24

Um, well, first and foremost, thank you for having me. Yeah. Uh uh, and I I do not take this lightly. Uh, I know it's my story, uh, but this is how God has using me uh throughout my 47 years uh in this earth uh to tell my testimony uh in order to impact somebody. So uh I'm grateful for it. Uh to him be the glory. And uh Rico, huh? Um I was born and raised in Costa Rica. Okay. Uh born and raised in Costa Rica. Um it was an amazing time for me. I didn't have any brothers or sisters, I did have a lot of friends, however. Um, and it was an amazing time for me to be on relationship, not fellowship, relationship. Uh, met a lot of uh a lot of people uh through my childhood in where it was a time um to see different platforms. Um my mother, she was a prayer warrior, uh single family home. Uh, and I think this is a good time to pause and give a shout out to all the single parents. Uh and my my hope and my charge for them is to never cease to pray for their children. Uh I understand that even the scripture said the prayers, the prayers of a mother avail much. And uh because I have a God-fearing woman uh leading me, uh I know a lot of stuff that happened in the natural will bypass because of the fervent prayers from her. Um but uh I didn't have any father figure. Okay. Um and and biblically we know that uh uh me being a man, uh being led by a woman, uh, we are ready out of alignment per se. Right. So this is not to downplay any single mothers out there, uh, but we know alignment where we know scripture. Uh she did the uh most important thing that she can do at her level. And I'm grateful for her. I'm grateful for everything that she did for me. Even to this day, uh, first thing that we do every time we speak on the phone is uh let me pray for you. Uh we do Bible studies together, and and I never forget that even at my childhood, when I would get in trouble, I uh I hear my mother echo that, hey, you don't have to answer to me, you answer to the Lord, right? Um knew about God, uh, as I said, she was a very um uh prayer warrior. Um, but at the same time, I was confused. I didn't have a somebody in leadership, I didn't have anybody who would point me in the right direct direction. Uh so I uh if you if you know Latino, I was uh I grew up Catholic. Okay. Uh seven Adventists. Yes. Yeah, so we have a lot of a lot of church cultures out there that I was exposed to. And but I know deep in my heart, uh I didn't I didn't have a relationship with Christ. And uh for me at that time, for my youth, from the ages uh four to seventeen, I I in my naiveness, uh, I know that I was still alive. Uh I was saved per se because of my mother. Right?

SPEAKER_03 6:02

Which is leaning into uh parents' faith. Yes. I think it was a good thing at a funeral. I heard God has no grandchildren. 100%. Your parents' faith will not save you.

SPEAKER_00 6:12

100% through that. Uh and that wiggle with me for a long time. I was like, well, I I I know I'm cover. I'm I'm I was covered in prayer. I'm good, right? Yes, I was covering prayer, uh, but I was not covered by the blood. Um, because of the stuff that I was doing, the the stuff under the closet. Uh I was exposed to uh a lot of stuff at a young age that I knew it was wrong. And biblically, we know uh what we do wrong, regardless if you believe or not. Right? We can go through Romans 1 and it will tell you because you can see the world, you can see that I uh that I exist. And uh for me knowing that it was a time over process that, well, if my mom praying for me and I'm behaving this way, that might be the purpose. Um, so that was me growing up. Uh, a little bit about me. I was in sports. Uh uh I I didn't have a father figure. Uh I do know my father, my biological father. Uh he was a soccer player, professional soccer player, and I knew I had the gift uh to play sports. But since he was not in my life, I didn't want to play soccer. I was like, you know what? I know I want to play sports, but I do not want to be just like my father. So I chose basketball instead.

SPEAKER_03 7:37

Making it look a little different. Yes. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 7:39

A little bit.

Fatherlessness, Identity, And Advice For Parents

SPEAKER_03 7:40

Literally empathize. My dad was very much work was important, and I said, I don't want to be like my dad. But instead of working to run your own business, I just went into sports officiating. So we just find different ways we think we're different. But yeah, that's just interesting uh comment just done kind of by you.

SPEAKER_00 7:56

And it was very uh it was very natural to me to jump into that because again, I didn't have a father figure, I didn't have uh a strong voice uh that would guide me in the in my purpose, in my identity, right? So play basketball in Costa Rica um and uh came to the United States when I was 17, 1997.

SPEAKER_03 8:18

So maybe talk a little bit too just how that impacted you know, the lack of a father figure. And like you said, I think want to make sure our listeners were not putting down single moms, but God's design is a mother and a father, you know, in a family together. That's why, you know, it fulfills those different roles. How do you think that, you know, did that create some kind of anger within you or just lack of direction? You know, how do you think that kind of really impacted you? And then maybe some advice for single moms. How would how can you navigate that in finding a male role model for your children, would you say?

SPEAKER_00 8:50

Yes, I'm glad that you mentioned that we're not looking down on single parents, either a woman or uh father. Um at the same time, the the identity of who I was, uh, it cannot come from my mother because she's different different role, right? Um, but my my encouragement that my mother always gave me, and even to this day, is that the Lord knew who I was. 100%. He knew who I was before I even came in this world, right? And and that's what the advice that I give every single father or mother at this point, that regardless of what your situation is, if you have children that you know that they come from the Lord, the enemy cannot produce life. So if the scripture says that even from the mother's womb, told Jeremiah that we can partake into that, is that he directs the steps and you can take that to the band that even though both families are not in the household, he always has a plan for the one who gave life. And as I can see how much the trajectory of my life, I see that the Lord has holded me day by day into his care, but not until fully unto come into straight surrender, and we get there. Uh, but it is evident uh for the people to understand that you have your children have a purpose and do not look at the circumstances, uh do not look at the mistakes because if God has a plan and you stay in alignment and you stay obedient, He will fulfill what is in that individual's life. And that's what I would say. That's my advice for them. Never to take it in a derogatory way that you have to be ashamed. Right. More like, okay, you here, I'm going to ensure that you know who God is and point you in that direction in order for him to go ahead and mull you and give you the purpose of your life.

SPEAKER_03 11:08

Yeah. So I think whatever we come from, you know, broken family, I come from a divorced home, and you know, that was a challenging thing, seeing that brokenness coming from a fatherless home. Wherever you come from, God is greater than your circumstances. You know, it's a understanding, but not an excuse. You know, I think there's understanding of the brokenness, but that shouldn't be a crutch, which I think will play out in your story, you know, going from there, right? Yes, definitely. So 17, yes, playing basketball, moving to the United States, you know, kind of like you said, have some head knowledge, right? You're aware of, you know, faith and you have a mom that you know believes, but uh walk us through from age 17 and that big next step.

Culture Shock In America And Addiction

SPEAKER_00 11:53

Uh at the age of 17, when I arrived, uh it was a cultural shock. Uh coming from Costa Rica to the United States, it was a cultural shock for me. And that's what at the time in where uh the dark side uh play a lot into who I became at that time. Uh again, I didn't have a father figure. I didn't have somebody who and I'm not blaming, I'm not taking no excuse, right? Uh this is my story. And uh the way I was introduced uh to this United, to the United States, it was different. It was different. Uh we didn't have the same values, we didn't do the same things back in Costa Rica. Uh we can see that here you have to uh you're on your own, um, no excuses. Um not only understanding that everybody called it the American dream, right? Uh such a such understatement when we say, oh, you go into the United States, wow, that you're going to the American dream, right? And that comes with a lot of trials and tribulations if you're looking at it that way. And that's what happened to me. Uh, I got in, uh, never lost my faith in that way, but at the same time, I was introduced uh to a lot of uh things that it was not biblical. Uh not to mention that I was addicted uh to pornography. Uh, I was heavily addicted to pornography, and again, uh, this is uh something that uh the I'm I I'm so glad that the Lord got me through that, uh, because it was an addiction that it was not just addiction, but it was very deep, very deep and very dark that pushed me away from the one who made me, and I was ashamed. I was more than not good enough. Oh, he he cannot save me because even though if I don't want to, I always going to go and fall into it when something happens, right?

SPEAKER_03 14:03

I got addicted to pornography and from there uh I was that something that was kind of just more ubiquitous coming to the US versus Costa Rica, kind of just how did that come about? Just any yes.

SPEAKER_00 14:15

So I I I was exposed. I was exposed again, different culture. Uh uh in Costa Rica was uh my mind was not on things of that sort. Uh not that was everything was perfect. Uh these so many stuff that I had to ask my mother for forgiveness, uh compared to what I did here. I'm like, wow, this is this is something that exposure uh to the not known into the American dream, and everybody's doing it, following the crowd, it put me in a state of okay, if everybody's doing it, this must be okay. Deep in me, I know it wasn't. Deep in me, I knew that I was far away from him. Deep on me, I knew that I was not just sinning, but getting so much far away that I could even hear his voice. Or if I read scripture, it did not make an impact because it was so the burden on me was hard enough. That at the same time, I didn't I didn't want to change. Right? Uh, and I'm not blaming the enemy for that. A lot of us, we want to blame the devil for everything.

SPEAKER_03 15:35

The devil made me do it.

SPEAKER_00 15:36

Yes, yeah. Oh, he made me do it. No, no, let's let's be realistic. Uh I want to sound the alarm. A lot of people say, Oh, uh you are a product of your own situation. Uh uh you are a product of your own decisions. You have to take responsibility, take responsibility.

SPEAKER_03 15:53

There's reasons and excuses. Yes, you know, understand the challenges, but don't use those as a crutch too frequently. Like you say, whether that's spiritual or the family situation, it'd be easy, I think, for you to say, Oh, yes, this was the enemy. It was that because I didn't have a father figure. Those would be easy outs, right? But we can't, you know, take that route. 100%.

SPEAKER_00 16:15

And and and I knew that. I I knew that my mother taught me in a way that you're always gonna take responsibility of your own decisions. But then again, uh, and it it might sound repetitive that I say I didn't have a mentor, and this is the time that I would advise anybody who listening to this, that there's nowhere in scripture, there's no verse in scripture, no chapter in stripture in scripture, no direction that it will tell us to do uh this by ourselves. Right? And when you're trying to do it by yourself, that's when the enemy knows your deepest struggles, and he used his schemes in order to penetrate everything that's dark in the natural to keep doing what you keep doing, what you've been doing.

SPEAKER_03 17:08

This is kind of your late teens, early 20s. So, where did you guys come when you came? Did your old family, your mom come with you?

SPEAKER_00 17:15

Uh just my mother. Um my mother, myself. My mother used to work in the American embassy in Costa Rica. So my she met my stepfather, and we're just calling my dad now. Uh he used to work for the immigration office. Okay. Uh phone call uh the Lord provided a phone call from the United States to Costa Rica, and then four most four months later, four months later, I found myself in the United States and right to the package to the package of naturalization, where I got my green card and everything was legit. Okay. So didn't have to sneak across.

SPEAKER_03 17:55

Which if you did, you know, right? So they were not gonna get into the politics, you know.

SPEAKER_00 17:58

But you came legit. I came legit. And even though through all that that I was doing, the Lord provided a way uh for a better tomorrow. Even to this day, my they might they still together more than 35 years. Uh so we know it was not a mistake. We know that decision that she made, it was uh something that it was not just gonna impact her, impact myself as well. Uh so through the whole process 17.

SPEAKER_03 18:29

Um, where in the United States did you land? Where did you guys go? Like New York, DC? We went to Miami, yeah.

Miami To High School Reset To Honors

SPEAKER_00 18:36

We went to Miami, and uh from there, a couple studies we went to New York and stuff like that. But quickly, I was 17. Uh, and I want to mention this because this is kind of where part of the testimony goes as far as humbling the Lord using uh uh humble me in this season that I was a senior in Costa Rica. Okay, so when I came here to United States, I was 17, and the credits for school was not acceptable here in the United States. So I had to start school out over, high school all over again. Okay. In where that was a challenge for me. Uh, 17, being a freshman, start all over again. And I remember when um my parents they were uh giving me advice, and I took that opportunity to say, you know what, this is not gonna stop me. If I if I had to start from scratch, I don't have a problem with that. I'm not gonna make the best of the best. So going to that, I can see the Lord was his hand was on everything that I was doing at this time, the same time. I did not have a relationship with him, but his hand was on me. Again, the prayers of a mom are very much. Ladies, keep praying for your children. Never, never cease praying for your children. Uh starting ninth grade over again, and I remember my teacher, she saw a gift in me. She was like, you know what, Rico, you go with the math, you lack in some English, right? So at the same time, she was like, I want you to do something for me. I want to I want you to teach my school the your your the students uh math, and I'm gonna pair you with somebody who speaks English very well. And I remember going through that process uh the first year, and I I picked it up so fast, I was hungry. I was getting to to home and I was studying, doing the the stuff that it required. So flash forward to senior year, I we graduated with honors. Uh I was on the top of my class, I was the Le Victorian, and that was the first time that I knew I had a purpose in my life that he designed for me. At the same time, I did not have a relationship with him. I joined in the military, I joined in the United States Marine Corps, in which I retired from there. But it was a very different structure. There is when you know discipline and uh you are going to do what you've been told. They're not my mother or my father, they are everything to me at a younger rank, in where I had to adapt and overcome. That's one of the things that we say adapt and overcome. Uh deeply into again pornography. I didn't want to mess with females though. Pornography was that and I did not want to get myself into fooling females because of my mother. I knew how hard she was everything that she did. Uh I knew how hard she had to work, I know how hard she had to provide, and I know how hard it was for her to be a woman. Therefore, my sin was you know what, I if I don't have to touch anybody. Or if I don't have to say anything to anybody, but I'm with this spiritual loss, I'm okay because I'm not hurting another person, knowing that I was hurting myself. So the whole uh through the whole career in my military, I will I knew about God. We have services, we go to churches and stuff like that. But my mentality was like, oh, I my career, my career. I need to get to the top of the chain. I need I need to be the biggest rank of the service until second time that we went to Afghanistan. And I remember clearly, like it was yesterday, we was being attacked. Uh, and I remember a bomb, we call it IDs, laying about 50 feet away from us. Right there on that instant, I knew if it would if it detonated, I was not gonna be alive. So flashbacks went to my mind in where I knew that I was not going to be in heaven. I knew for the fact that if that bomb would have gone off, I would have been in hell because I did not have a relationship with the Father, in which that was the initiation part of how serious I want to get with the Lord.

Marine Corps Years And Hidden Battles

SPEAKER_03 23:22

Kind of a wake-up call. I think it was a good thing I read. We all we all need a wake-up call at some point, and that takes different forms and different ways. But sounds like for you it was life and death, really experience coming face to face.

SPEAKER_00 23:37

Oh yes. And I remember even though if it was a wake-up call, I was still asleep.

unknown 23:44

Right?

SPEAKER_00 23:44

I was still asleep. We came back from deployment. Uh the third deployment, I remember sitting in my room and seeing done so many stuff in the military, seen so many stuff in the military, especially in country. Uh, I was flipping through channels, and this pastor came through the TV, and I remember hearing the gospel so vividly that I was like, I need that. I want that. And I got saved in my dorm. I got saved in my room, you where I remember shedding tears and knowing for a fact that my name was written in the book of life. Uh, yet I didn't have a church, I didn't have leadership, I didn't have mentorship. I did have the mentorship of the military, but I didn't have somebody who holds me side by side, a spiritual father. I didn't have that, in which this is a perfect time for the audience who listening to this. There is no license biblically that you can do this by yourself. You must have an accountability partner. You must have people in faith that can challenge you. You don't need no friends, you need people who tell you exactly what the Bible says. If you do not repent about that, if you don't see it in a biblical way, the enemy is so smart that it will throw all the schemes to us and would get you get us off guard. And that's exactly what happened. Even though I knew that at that point when I got saved and I didn't have a relationship with him, I knew for a fact that, oh, I'm gonna keep doing what I'm doing. When I find that or find that eager or find that pleasure to go and speak to somebody, I will. And that's exactly what happened at that part. I got saved, uh, go back into deployment. I can't I have to come back early. And I was medically retired. Uh I remember uh coming back, I was medically retired, and at that point, it was when the struggle came down. Uh why? Because the only thing that I knew what to do was military. I didn't have any education. I didn't have again mentorship. So outside of the military, I was okay, what I gonna do now?

SPEAKER_03 26:19

I got how many years were you in?

SPEAKER_00 26:21

I was 14 years. 14 years. Uh 14 years. So now at this point, at this point, I'm already married. Uh, we have a blended family, five kids. How am I gonna provide?

SPEAKER_03 26:32

Tell us the story of how'd you meet the wife. Hey, don't don't don't gloss over that now. Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:38

So uh my wife, uh shout out to my wife. Uh I I I met her in the natural. I met her in the streets.

SPEAKER_03 26:49

Um in Miami, or was this when you were home on Miami?

SPEAKER_00 26:52

I was in California. I was in California. Yeah, I was stationed in California. I was stationed in California and met my wife through a website. Uh I sent her a message. There you go. Uh uh. This match that kind of this is this is my space for for MySpace. And I can't see my kids running a MySpace. Oh, you uh oh. I'll be like, oh yes, don't call it uh oh.

SPEAKER_03 27:16

But that's why you got two years who are like, what is MySpace? Oh man, that's uh yeah, yes, yeah.

Afghanistan Wake-Up Call And Salvation

SPEAKER_00 27:21

So I bet I I remember met her through MySpace and the same day when I met her uh through online, I went to uh it it on Thursdays in the military is cleanup day. Okay, and I remember I was cleaning my room and met uh sent her message, she replied the same time two hours later. I was already going to go meet her, and from there, uh it was history. Uh she already had uh three kids, okay, in which I didn't have any at the time. And at that point, I was like, man, this is it reminded me of my mother, how hard she had to work just for one, and to see how my wife had to work for three already, and she's still providing, but I could see the kids did not have a father figure in the house. Now, I'm gonna mention what happened to that, that I believe this is the reason why we're still together today, but they didn't have somebody in the house to be a men figure. I knew that I needed to be in that role. And I I got in love with the children. And one of the things that I had to ask her was like, hey, I want to have a relationship with the father of your kids. And that's that's that's not usual. That's not a usual thing. And come to find out that uh two of the two of her children, their father, he was in the Marine Corps. Uh so I reached out to him, and you know, there's a brotherhood in the Marine Corps. And when I told him, hey, uh I'm dating your ex-wife, and I just want to introduce myself. And I remember to this day, this might sound crazy. Uh I remember to this day he mentioned, oh, you're gonna take over. Okay, I need to meet you. I was like, no problem. You can come, you can come through the house. So I remember he flying from New York City to California, and the first time we met, it was like connection. So the father of my wife kids, we already had a connection that he knew that I was going to be doing right before his children. And even though they didn't have my wife and his uh and her ex did not have a lot of communication, she knew that I was the real deal because I took that chance to go ahead and speak with him regarding his children. If I wanted the approval of the children, I wanted the approval of him. Not that I needed it, but to for him to know that hey, I'm gonna be the one stepping in that role. And to this day, we are great friends.

SPEAKER_03 30:03

Uh that's a rare thing, but obviously something good. I think that's what we see so much in divorced homes is when there's that conflict between the spouses, and then it becomes a that's you know, sort of how I grew up, you know, it was not a amicable divorce. So that creates a lot of back and forth for the kids. So I think that's an awesome thing that you guys did that to have that relationship so that for the children they recognize some unity in the parenting, even if there's still brokenness. So that's a great thing, you know. I think that's and a rare thing. Too often there's rivalry there, there's competition there, you know what kind of that is. So I know that's probably not easy for you to do, but I think, yeah, like you said, having that at least Marine Corps tie-in, something commonality.

Marriage, Blended Family, And Unlikely Unity

SPEAKER_00 30:51

Uh so yeah, that's a cool to make it more interesting. Uh he he, I mean, we still good friends to this day, in where after we met for the first time, uh, I keep inviting him. So every six months, every three months, when he comes to California, he used to stay in our house. And it was weird because even my parents, they were like, What? Like, there's no way. As a matter of fact, hey, this is a huge one. He was the one who signed for our marriage when we my wife and I got married in Vegas. So he was the one dress up like Elvis? No, no, no, but it was uh it was so now that looking back, it was such a thing that it's it's a real thing uh to have a relationship with somebody that you know that you can uh that in many families that can be the separation between two spouses, sure, right? So to have that, to have the security, to have the approval, and this disagreement on others, especially from your own blood, but you knew that the Lord had you there for a reason, it was very special to me. Mind you, I knew my name was written in the book of life, yeah, but my wife was not safe at the time. So this is where it gets interesting. I was telling my wife, hey, you need to go to church. We need to go to church. So I knew about the Christ that we serve, and I knew we were not in alignment, I know we were not unique yoke, right? And I was like, Man, I know I'm living in sin, but now I'm married to her, and I know in scripture, I know that I'm not just going to live just like that, but I can't pray for that. So I remember we're going to church, we're going to church, we're going to church, and when the pastor would go ahead and do the call at the end, and you know, I'm I'm the Christian who opened the eyes and was like, Did she got saved today? No, she didn't got saved today. And through the whole process, it was like, Man, I I know I'm living in sin. We're living in sin. We're separated from the Lord. How can he bless that?

SPEAKER_03 33:02

We don't have spiritual intimacy. A hundred percent. It's really important. You can have the relationship, the physical side, the emotional side, but when you lack that spiritual side, it really is not as fulfilling a relationship, right? God designs that spiritual foundation is important.

SPEAKER_00 33:19

Uh one Sunday, uh, I did not want to go to church. I was like, I'm tired of this. Every time, every time that we want to go to church, is the only reason what I was going to church is for her to be saved. And I remember this Sunday, we're like, I don't want to go to church. She'd be like, No, we're going. Okay. So we go. Whole sermon. I don't remember what the pastor was talking about. He did the invitation. Okay. I opened my eyes and she was walking down. And I was and that at that moment when I saw my wife getting saved, I knew the Holy Spirit was like, it was not on your time. It was on my time, it was not your will, it was my will. Therefore, you must repent too.

SPEAKER_03 34:06

Right. You were trying to do it more yourself as you will it rather than trusting his time.

SPEAKER_00 34:11

A hundred percent.

SPEAKER_03 34:12

That's totally a God story, right? The one Sunday you didn't even want to go, right? Yes, we could all say.

SPEAKER_00 34:46

That's the greatest testimony ever heard that ever happened. My testimony, I can't I can say some stuff in my testimony to sound good. And even though people will hear my testimony, listen to my testimony, the greatest testimony is to know that the one who raised from the dead, that's the testimony that we should listen to, that we should implant into our hearts, allow him to go ahead and rescue us from what he died for. And if we don't do that, we not doing exactly what scripture said. You want it on your own time, not on his time. Right.

SPEAKER_03 35:22

So you're in finishing the military, married now, right? How many years were you in the military? I was 14 years. But how when you were married, how many years had you been in? Uh, three years. Okay, three. So early in your military tenure. So married three years in, next 11 years, get moved around a lot, or how did you kind of kind of great, great, great, great question.

SPEAKER_00 35:43

So I medically retired from the military. Uh, I didn't know what to do. And sometimes you you want to go back to school. Uh I knew there was a season in where if you don't have education, if you don't know how to cope with the world, um, you you must go and get some school in you, right? So I went to uh going to the church. Now we heavily in the church. My wife and I, my kids been saved.

SPEAKER_03 36:13

Yes, you guys have that in common. Yes. Have two kids together, it sounds like yes. Okay, so yes.

Praying For A Spouse’s Salvation

SPEAKER_00 36:18

So at that point, we we have a I'm doing pastoral things and and she's doing uh the woman ministry, uh and she she's going through uh she's going to other other countries and come back. I was like, you know what? I need to go to school. Why? Because I didn't know how to provide to my family, but the government would give you substances if you go to school. So I was like, okay, let me go to school to at least put food in the table. And going through applications, I was like, man, I'm already on my early 30s. And going, I I don't I don't feel pride. Here's where the pride comes. I don't want to go back to school with 18-year-olds and 19-year-olds. And Lord, you you you you want to humble me that hard, right? I was very prideful man. Pride, pride, it was one of my downfouls until I was truly surrendered to him. Are we gonna get there? But I remember in where I had a uh a friend of mine go to the same church and was like, hey, I'm gonna start school. He was already retired from the Navy, and you might want to come with me. And I was like, okay, let's go. And he went to Asusa Pacific, a Christian school in California. And walk into the building, and hey, you guys want to fill the application? And I was like, Okay, I'll fill the application. And at that point, I knew I was in the right spot because it was about faith. Uh at that point, I want to, I want, you know, if I want to go to school, I want to do it the right way, I want to do it his way. So I went to Asusa Pacific University, in which a Christian school, in where I was like, you know what, this is and I fell in love with education. I fell in love with how to share the gospel, how to be out there for the Lord. At the same time, again, I didn't have a mentor. I was not being a disciple. I was taking, taking, taking, taking from education, nobody to expose that to, on the darkest of myself, in where I could see the Lord working to that. And like, I want you to go to seminary now. And I'm like, okay, so we're going through seminary, and it was a very frustrated time for me. Because I knew that yes, even though our names were written in the book of life, I knew I was doing the Lord's will, but at the same time, my faith was not strong enough to detect the schemes of the enemy. In where depression came into place, PTSD came into play, uh uh uh suicidal thoughts, and many, many things that people will say, then that happens to you, even though you as a Christian. Oh, oh yes, this is not for the weak. This is this right here, it's not for the weak, it's for the meek. These different things. But at the same time, it was hard for me to go through that process not knowing what the Lord was using my talents for. I remember going through suicidal thoughts and and uh to the point that I I gained about 250 pounds in one year out of depression. I didn't want to go anywhere. Uh I would go to school, go to work, come back home. I didn't talk to anybody. I let all that stuff consume me, and I didn't have anybody but the Lord to go ahead and express everything that was going inside of me. Uh graduated from seminary, didn't know exactly what direction he wanted me to go. And where at the same time, I didn't want to do anything that was derogatory from his word. I was presented with a lot of options to do the not ethical thing. Uh I chose not to, uh, because at the same time I did not want to let my mother uh I did not want to let my mother know that okay, you brought me to this country to do the wrong thing, and me ended up in jail for doing the wrong thing. Uh so that's one thing. Again, the prayers of a man, the faith of a mother, right? In where to the whole process, I was like, you know what, let me go back into a church that I can plan my feet on. And I got introducing, introduced to prosperity preaching. And that was the second downfile. Now let me identify the prosperity preaching uh more like money preaching. Uh a lot of a lot of stuff that we call prosperity preaching, we have different terminologies. And prosperity is in the Bible, money preaching is not. Prosperity can be determined as everything that you should do, you will prosper. Money by money preaching is not everything that you do, you will get money from. And that's what it was introduced.

Medical Retirement, School, And Pride

SPEAKER_03 41:31

How do we properly define prosperity? And biblically we should define it as God's purposes, 100%. For God's glory. Yes. But I think that's a good thing that you're breaking out. We need to define that because God does want the work of our hands to prosper, but for his glory, yes. Not for our own gain. A hundred percent. Prosperity gospel teaches well, do all these things, and then you will receive rewards for yourself. A hundred percent. So we lay up treasure in heaven, and that may not look on earth like we think it will look like. So correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that's what you're trying to preach.

SPEAKER_00 42:06

A hundred percent. Yes. Yeah, so it was the money preaching in where everything that I should do, I should get a reward here. And I believed in it. I was like, I was like, oh man, this is this is it right here. Now you're gonna tell me that I everything that I do, I can go ahead and fill my pockets with. In where I started doing business um and doing very well, but I was still empty. I was empty. Uh my primary ministry, which is my wife and my kids, were not a priority. Uh went through years of how can I uh build a legacy here on earth, but where's the legacy in heaven? Where are you doing your Colossians 3, focus on everything above, not on things on the earth? Uh, where's the first ministry and where you must minister to your wife? Everything that your wife does is a replica of you. Uh, where is the fiction five? Love your wife, right? Is your wife submitting to you because you were submitting to him first? That was not preached in my home. Therefore, the schemes of the enemy will make me look like, well, you're doing all this stuff for yourself or for your family, but again, you're not doing his will because everything that you're doing is gain for here on earth. In where I was very challenged with that that I will allow the PTSD, the depression, uh, to be working so hard and never see the fruit of my investment here on earth. So I was like, I'm doing many hours and and having a big team and have all this money, want to make all this money, but it's still in an empty place, it's still not being fulfillment, it's still. Not being in alignment, still my name written in the book of life, but I'm not spirits in heaven here on earth. So I say, you know what? I'm out. And that was another mistake. Right? So again, the testimony is to empower somebody that there's different things that you cannot blame the enemy for is based on your own decisions that you apply to yourself based on what you studying or how you getting that education in your soul.

SPEAKER_03 44:38

I think what you're hitting on sounds like a lot of distractions. Oh, yes. So, you know, one seminary can be a great thing, but much knowledge puffs up. That's what Proverbs Ecclesiastes. So it can easily get us distracted because we get focused on the knowledge rather than why are we gaining this knowledge? What is the purpose of this knowledge? And then sounds like then leading to that. There's always like that half-truth, you know, the prosperity, like we talked about, like trying to use Bible verses in the wrong way. You know, too many false pre Paul warns this throughout the epistles, right? Yes. Watch out for these false teachers. 100%. Because they're not blatantly teaching you something crazy, they're taking a little bit of that's what Satan did in the garden. Yeah. Did God really say like half of it? Sounds like that was impacting you in a lot of ways and getting you distracted from the truth, which is easy to do. I think many of us have been, you know, wooed by some of the same things. It can be easy to have our pride, like you talked about, tempted. So did that cause you to then kind of walk away from church? Yes, or is it more just getting focused in your business and kind of forsaking? You know, what did that look like?

SPEAKER_00 45:46

Focus more on my business. And and again, I did not deal with the pride that I have inside of me.

SPEAKER_03 45:53

And I was getting why we need accountability inside.

SPEAKER_00 45:56

100%. A hundred percent. Because now I'm not at this point in my life, I'm not I'm not looking at what God says about me. I'm looking at what people saying about me. How how does how does the world see me on how I'm doing?

SPEAKER_03 46:15

Starting to measure by man's measurements rather than God's measurements.

SPEAKER_00 46:19

Yes. And and and so so ironic, and you mentioned about we mentioned about seminary and go to school, and there is no scripture. Again, this is the reason why scripture is so important, because there's no passage of scripture that said that every Christian should go to Bible school or go to seminary.

SPEAKER_03 46:37

It's not in the qualifications for a deacon or an elder that you have X amount of these or letters behind your name.

Seminary, Depression, And Spiritual Drift

SPEAKER_00 46:44

100%. So many times I look back and I was like, man, how much time I wasted. I wasted, not wasted, uh, because I went to a good school. I went to a good seminary school, Southern California Seminary, in where it was a biblical school, word by word, verse by verse. I knew exactly what scripture meant, exeges I mean hermeneutics, uh, to the but but again, the scheme of the enemy. It was like, how can I utilize that to make it my own? And you're right, there is so much stuff that we can do now that it does not require for us to go to school. We must be concerned about how we acting for people who are in the church. Even Jude tell us about it. Be a be even though I'm talking to you, even though I should write a letter to you on how well I'm about the gospel, there's some people who are infiltrating the church to tack not the gospel that we heard before. Be careful. Right? So that got into ourselves, that got into a myself, into a way that I was like, man, I need to, I knew I had to push myself out and looking from a perspective that am I doing his will or I'm doing my will, to the point that in order to check myself, I had to go look at my own ministry and say, Oh, everything is out of place. Everything is out of place. So here is where everything changes in a way that the degrees don't matter, the money don't matter, the accolades that people see me doing don't matter. Is what what is your what is your legacy gonna be doing when you leave? What is gonna be, there's a good poem, it's called the dash. And the dash, when I studied that, we studied that in seminaries that people not gonna see what you did from this time to this time, or a period of time where you were famous, or a period of time where your name was out there. They're gonna see exactly what you was born for myself, but born in 1979. Dash, if I would have died today, 2026, the dash is like what people will look at that and when looking at my doing the inventory of my own self, I was like, people is gonna remember me, not because I'm doing his will, but I'm doing my will, and my family can see that to the point that I had to repent. I had to truly come into myself, come into the senses and say, you know what, Lord, I'm I'm done. I'm done with who Rico is, I'm done pleasing individuals, I'm done with the schemes of the enemy, and that's what the dangerous prayer came into place. And this is a a good time to pause here because you knew you know that if your name is written in the book of life and you're not doing his will, yes, you might you must still go to heaven. But what what are you what is your legacy? What do you want to leave behind that's for your children, children? Even biblically, there's a command. As a matter of fact, what is the greatest command that we ever received? Go and make disciples of our nations, baptizing in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, right? Matthew 28, 18 to 21. And are we doing that? Or we are concentrating on how big our package is gonna be, what are we gonna leave for our kids money-wise, what people is gonna think about me when I make our decision, all that stuff does not matter, and that's when we move here to Delaware, find the church in Delaware, good Bible teaching church here in Delaware. As soon as we step in the first time, I remember Pastor Mark was speeching on revelation. And a lot of us, and I mean a lot of us Christians call ourselves believers, they are afraid of revelation. Oh, revelation is too boring. Revelation is no, that's a but even the first five verses of Revelation is the only place in the Bible it says, a blessed are the ones who read this book. The only place in the Bible it says a blessed are the ones who read this book, meaning revelation. And as we dig into that series, I was like, Oh, this is going to penetrate with my heart. I must deal with my heart in my sin aggressively. We need to get accountability, we need to repent, we need to get somebody who looking in it from the outside and point out all the stuff that is has been negated, neglected, remove everything that I know, and be in alignment with him to the point that yes, we were coming, we were coming, we were coming, we're believing, and now see my children, the last one that we have at home, my daughters, they come in here every Wednesday and being in a biblical signing church that even your children can benefit from it. Sometimes this is a good thing to pause. If you have children that come to the church and you want to stay home, don't worry, your children's might give so much conviction that you don't have no choice but to go into church because the Lord will use your children's to expose your sin and get you back into church. And that's exactly what happened to me.

SPEAKER_03 52:28

Oh well. So that's the thing. Like you said, if your name is in the book, God ain't gonna let you go. 100% not. You got the Holy Spirit, there's gonna be conviction there if you we we will stray, right? Like we just still struggle. We're in the sanctification process. Sounds like God used a move, you know, coming here, but you know, through your kids, getting you back into church and getting you back into that right walk of hey, all the seminary and everything you did, we're not gonna waste that. God's still gonna use that.

SPEAKER_00 52:58

Yes. And you know what? Even to the whole process of our sanctification, I'm looking how God will use my children to get back into alignment. I will drop in them off every Wednesday. They will come home excited, praying for the house, and we want to go on the next Sunday. Hey, dad, you need to go there, you need to serve. And I'm like, man, nobody can pride. He I see, I have not dealt with pride. I'm like, nobody can tell me what to do. I know scripture, like they know scripture. I don't need no pastor. I I do my own studies. We're in a new age that after the pandemic, I can stay in my own home and read my old Bible without discipleship, without church, without alignment. No, no, I I don't want that. But he used, he got, he used my children to ensure that my views, it wasn't biblical views, it was not worldview through the to the scripture, it was Rico view. So I remember this vividly. I come uh they come one uh Wednesday and dad, you need to go next week. And I was so tired, I was like, okay, let me see what's going on in there. I got two daughters, shout out to my two babies, and this must be a guy that they like. See, I'm already started with the wrong perspective. Let me see who they are talking about. I walked into that Wednesday, and I remember uh I don't know if we can say any names here, but the pastor at the time he was preaching with so much conviction that I saw every children focus, taking notes, lifting their hands, coming to the altar, getting saved, and the Lord right there on the spot, he told I can I could tell he did not actually heard his voice like that, but he this is this is what you need to be like, childlike. Go back to scripture if you want to inherit the kingdom of heaven, that's right, you have to humble yourself, right?

SPEAKER_03 55:06

I'm like a child, which especially for us guys, very hard.

Prosperity Teaching Vs Biblical Prosperity

SPEAKER_00 55:10

Yeah, and that broke my heart in so many ways that I was like, you know what, Lord, I am done. This these it was my last straw, and I remember going home. Oof, I I'm getting emotional because I I remember telling my wife, wife, going forward, stuff is gonna change. We're going back into alignment, we're going back to church, we go back into scripture, we go back into community, we're going to follow the step that the Lord has been not just blessing us with. We have been avoiding this for so long, and if we want to walk into his will for our life, let's go in alignment to the point that I had to walk it first as the leader, and then because of my submission, because of my repentance, but because of my willing, my family follow. Praise God. And that is something that I nobody can tell me a man can do that, coming from a different country, coming from all the trials and tribulations, coming for something that I never thought that I can get away from, pornography, coming to a place that I have the authority and the posture and the leadership and the pride military, to go into seminary knowing scripture, preaching scripture, and nobody can tell me nothing without accountability. Who are you to thinking that way? So I think this is a perfect time to for our viewers and for our listeners to check yourself, check your motive. It doesn't you in alignment.

SPEAKER_03 56:57

I think you used a really that's an important word, right? Getting into that 100%.

SPEAKER_00 57:02

Look at the alignment, and the first thing that we must do is like if your pasture of your heart aligns to what scripture says not with your parents, not what your friends, not what the smart men in the room, you don't need to go to seminary, you don't need to go to all these classes, you need to be in community, you need to literally be set apart like he already did for you in that cross and do exactly what the work because you know what? And I'm about to sound the alarm here. We don't have time. We could go on for hours, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 57:43

So, but I think some very important chapters of your life, you know, first chapter, military chapter, waking you up, coming to faith, marriage, seminary, but some drift. And so now tell us about this new chapter. God really brought you back into alignment. So God's really calling you into a new ministry. So tell us a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_00 58:03

Alignment, alignment is everything, um, Nate, because of the simple fact that when you're on alignment, it's not you planning your ways, it's he planning your calling, get you back into calling. So uh I remember the Lord told me, yeah, you're going to quit your job. You're gonna quit what you were doing. At the time, I didn't know what I was gonna do, but I remember he was like, You're gonna quit your job. And I remember in the in the room was an easy thing, right? You know, I remember looking at my wife, it was like, I'm done with I'm doing. You what? I'm done. I I I don't know what it is. And of course, and this is the thing that when structure and how God designed unity and marriage, he will use the men to conversate with, and that's why give the helper to ensure that whatever God tells that individual to both be in unity. I'm not saying that I'm better than her, I'm not saying that she's better than me. It's a helper. If I if he gave me a helper, I'm not gonna go to somebody who knows less than me. So the helper as a woman, and for anybody who's listening to this, if you are a spouse, if you are a wife, you have as much power than your husband. And if you submitting to your husband as he submits to Christ, does not uh do not think that you submitting for culture because culture will tell you, we're not gonna submit to no God. We're not for my children, no. But when you see that, the pride aspect 100, 100, and and and know my wife how she is, she's from New York and she's hardcore. Uh shout out to my wife, she's the one who gets out of the car and change the tires, she's the one who changed the oil. I mean, I don't mess with my nails. I mean, she did the bendy store. So I know she she's more than a helper to me.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:09

That's good.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:10

Right, she's more than a helper to me. And when the the the Lord told me this is quit your job. I'm gonna have you in a process of remodification in where I want you to do. I went, we went to camp, and at camp, I uh I'm so invested with the youth of our church, in where I can see the cry of the children, I can see why they need mentors. I know they're crying for identity, purpose, and truth. In where I know in camp I the Lord deal with me, I was like, This is what you're supposed to be doing. This is where I want you to be, in where he introduced something to ourselves, to myself, and we're like, I did you're going to be into full ministry. And now we are in the process of uh uh being in alignment with him through FCA, uh, which is follow fellowship of Christian athletes.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:08

God really opening a door, 100%. Take all of this training and and everything that you'd had, yes, and you using it pridefully, now he's allowing you to use it for him. 100%.

Realignment: Repentance And Legacy

SPEAKER_00 1:01:20

So and and through that, it is it's so amazing because now I don't I don't have to do my own will because he placed it, he after I truly put everything on him, giving it to him, now he can say, okay, if I can trust you, now I I'm gonna trust you with this. And now you have the obligation, the charge to go ahead and make disciples of our nations and baptize him. But I want you to do that outside the church, and the vision and the mission statement is to every coach and every athlete to go ahead and have a relationship with Christ and get closer to him, knowing that that's the purpose, identity, and reason what they do, what they doing, but that would have never happened if me myself would repent, will get my will in his purpose, and humble myself, and the most important thing, my pride had to go. That's right.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:16

I die daily. Yes, I must decrease. Yes, you must increase.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:20

And accountability, and accountability. Now we I I have me personally, I have three accountability partners that I'm my friend. They will ask the questions that I would never expect somebody to ask a 46-year-old, and they will know if I lie or not. They know my struggles, they know what I need prayer for, they know exactly what is going on, and because of that, now I'm mentoring individuals. Now I have people that I can pour into, and man, the the Lord is good. So my message is clear. Your will here on earth, it would not happen if pride, unrepentance, submissive, and being pastored by somebody. You don't have no license to do that by yourself.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:03

Summarizing Rico's life, you know, discipleship is so key because if we don't have that accountability and discipleship, we're gonna go our own direction, right? I think we last year had a great episode, I think it was back in June with Mitch, that really the source of all sin is pride. Yes, rebellion against God. So whether it's pornography, whether it's idolatry of some other form, whether it's you know, other forms of you know, drug addiction, whatever, it all comes back to a pride of gratifying ourselves. And so sometimes we can get fooled, like you say, into thinking we're doing schooling or whatever, education and making those good things ultimate things in our life. And that's really a prideful way to go about it. So absolutely. Well, as we close out, maybe just give us a quick uh synopsis of FCA, what it's doing here in Delaware, how people can maybe uh learn and support if they have a heart for youth around around what you're doing with the uh yes, so this ministry is very is very down to my heart.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:01

Uh why? Because I can see the church, how this church has uh established the foundation uh for my heart for the for the youth, uh for people who's in leadership. And I can see looking at my trajectory, what God has bringed me through and from. I know that there's a need outside the church. And just like FCA call it huddles, uh, our church is the huddle to go out and do what we must do. So what in FCA, we go outside the church, we go to schools, we go and ensure that every coach, the leader of any sport, have a relationship with the one who gave them that gift from the beginning, from the start, and disseminate that for every student. So our job is to go ahead and empower every leader to have a relationship with the maker, removing ourselves and allow God to work through us, not for that to stay out there. We are called to go and bring them inside the church. So if people want to partner with me, I mean they can go ahead and have some questions in the chat. Uh um, we do have a website that people can see. Uh, so they can go ahead and put it down uh in descriptions below and I will reach out to them. Um very clever to see that.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:19

That's great. And so, yeah, we'll put it in the show notes uh if you're interested in learning more. And uh, if you're here in the Delaware, Maryland area and you'd like to partner with that. Again, I think such an awesome opportunity to impact youth in the next generation because man, sports in our culture, you want to talk about idolatry. It's real easy. And I know you shared basketball, we didn't even get into all of that. We can so many stories we can myself, you know, finding it in football officiating. Like sports wants to give us that false identity a lot of times. But and sports can be a really good thing. You know, they teach you so much teamwork if it's focused in the right way, but our society is putting it in a a very different Light, and then that's a battle you're fighting. So definitely encourage our listeners to get involved. Like you say, don't just stay inside the church. We go outside the church. We there is a lost and dying world out there. People are struggling and they need the truth, you know, just like you've talked about of getting those wake-up calls, however that may look like. Well, Rico, man, I know we could talk for hours. God gives us amazing stories, but appreciate you taking the time for us. Listeners, hopefully this was encouragement to you, just hearing whether you're wherever you're from in the world, you know, whatever you've dealt with, whatever your uh family situation was, going into different situations, God is greater than those circumstances and works so many things out. So, listeners, thanks for taking the time for us today, and we will see you next time. Thanks for tuning in to the Life Talk Podcast. If this episode encouraged you, please be sure to like, comment, subscribe, and leave a review so others can find this content as well. And we'll look forward to seeing you next Monday for another great episode.