Welcome & Why We Share Stories

SPEAKER_00 0:15

What's up, Lifehouse family? Welcome back to the Life Talk Podcast. We are always excited to be joined by you, our listeners, on a regular basis and looking to bring you great content. Hopefully, you've been going with us in 2026 on Mondays as we've journeyed through the Gospel of Luke and that ongoing study. And Tuesdays we spend time with Pastor Mark. But as always, we want to stay true to our roots. One of our goals is for Lifehouse to know Life House, to encourage each other with stories of redemption in Christ. It's always amazing how God works so many unique ways. And I think today will be no exception. I'm excited to be joined by Nikki Palmer, who is part of our women's ministry and helping with our communications team and website. And so excited for the audience to get to know you. Nikki, how are you doing today?

SPEAKER_02 1:08

Hi, Nate. I'm good. I'm good. I appreciate you having me here. I'm excited.

SPEAKER_00 1:12

Excited you're taking some time for us and claimed you were nervous. So are you excited to go? Share?

SPEAKER_02 1:17

I'm excited. This is the first time I'm really sharing my testimony in this way. So it makes me a bit nervous, but I'm excited.

SPEAKER_00 1:22

But I know you shared. You have some podcasting experience. So that's pretty cool. So maybe just tell us about that.

SPEAKER_02 1:28

Is that ongoing or is there archives that the listeners can reach back into to there actually are archives, which would be really interesting to hear because it was definitely before my walk with Jesus, I would say. So it's maybe it's something I need to go back and listen to, Nate. There you go. But yes, it is something I I shared a lot of uh entrepreneurial advice, uh a little bit of life, mom life and things there.

SPEAKER_00 1:50

Very cool, very cool. Always interesting to kind of know just how we change those things. But well, great to be joined by you today. So maybe as we always do when we're you know learning about somebody, maybe you share earliest memories, how you grew up, you know, how did did Nikki start out in life?

New York Fashion To Small-Town Boutique

SPEAKER_02 2:07

So wow, okay, so I'm from Middletown. I right now live just down the street from the church, right here in town. I grew up, I have two brothers, older, younger, so I'm the middle. I'm the middle. I'll claim that I'm the favorite, you know. My mom, my dad, very hard workers, I have great a great family. We did not grow up going to church. So this is all very new for me, Nate, which has been interesting. But I I was always really involved. I played sports, I cheered, I raced motocross, which a lot of people don't know that. Until my sophomore year of high school, I had a wreck, and my mom was like, Yeah, we're done with that. But I always was involved in sports and and you know, just the community and things. I went to school here in Middletown. I graduated from Middletown High School in 2008. When I was in middle school, I started to learn how to sew, actually. So I made all of my prom dresses and homecoming dresses for high school. So I quickly knew that fashion was something I was interested in. My grandmother, Grace, she was my person, she was very creative and introduced me to sewing and things. And so after I graduated high school, a month after I graduated, I moved to New York City.

SPEAKER_00 3:18

Okay. Go to the big city.

SPEAKER_02 3:20

Big city to study fashion design. Um, I didn't know where that would lead me, but while I was there, I interned for a lot of big companies, different, you know, parts of the fashion industry as far as marketing, PR. I worked fashion week for 10 seasons, just kind of behind the scenes helping dress models all the way to eventually sitting front row writing trend reports for a buying office. So while I was there, I really learned as much as I possibly could about the fashion industry. And then I was also in a long-distance relationship at the time.

SPEAKER_01 3:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 3:54

So when I graduated college, I decided I wanted to bring fashion back here to my small town in Delaware. Came back to Middletown, and I was 21. I quickly found out I was gonna be a mom.

SPEAKER_01 4:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 4:09

So I was at that point in my life where it was obviously a surprise. It's like, okay, what am I gonna do? And you know, am I gonna give up on this dream that I have to pursue fashion? Or do I get a real job? You know, like kind of fold up everything I had worked for. And but I knew that I had to push on. I knew I always say I couldn't look my daughter in the eyes one day and tell her to follow her dream if I had given up on mine. So that quickly became my why. So I, with all the experience I had gained in New York, I figured out how to launch a website to purchase inventory and I launched my online boutique on my daughter's first birthday. We sold out of everything. On the first day, I used social media as a tool to just connect with community. And then we opened up my first retail location in 2012, just about a year or so later. So I owned a boutique for 10 years and it was amazing right here in Middletown. I could go on and on, Nate. So stop me at any time.

SPEAKER_00 5:08

But maybe you talk a little bit too. So, you know, not growing up in a Christian home, how did you feel that shape? Like, you know, obviously fashion, you mentioned kind of getting into sewing.

SPEAKER_02 5:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:17

You know, how did that kind of you think trajectory-wise in your life of like what the values were, you know?

SPEAKER_02 5:24

Yeah. No, absolutely. I mean, I come from a family of hard workers. My f my parents are very hard workers. We had everything we could want and need and more. And, you know, my parents are also were involved in the community, like the sports that we were in. My mom was always a coach and things like that. So as far as like family values go, like I feel like I was raised in a home where we were loved, you know, but we didn't, we definitely didn't know Jesus. And what we what I knew of church was that it it just felt like a place I didn't belong. I just I didn't know, you know, what it was. And and we were just kind of any any part of, I'll say it loosely, but like religion that I was aware of, it just felt like a space of judge being judged being judged, you know, and especially as I became a mom at 21 out of I was not married at the time, you know, there was just a lot of misconceptions that I had around church, and no fault to my parents at all, but just you know, growing up and not being familiar with it, I would say.

SPEAKER_00 6:30

So really no religious overtones, no faith kind of probation at all. So it was kind of more, you know, to use the term, kind of secular, just the world, the work, the community matters, but this is all all there kind of is to life, essentially, is that yeah, yeah.

Young Motherhood, Marriage, And Divorce

SPEAKER_02 6:46

And you know, my grandmother's name was Grace. I I I teased that she had this, she had a Bible on her coffee table, but it was like a big Bible and Jesus was on the front. It always felt really creepy to me. Like I just but my grandmother was a woman of faith, and so she, when we were with her, which was a lot, you know, especially as a kid, she would sing songs to us. Like you, I can literally hear her voice singing, you know, Jesus loves me. You know, so it was there. I have family members in my mom's family who have always gone to church, and so we prayed on Easter Sunday before we ate, you know, but it just I never understood it. I never understood what it meant, and it just I for whatever reason it always felt like it just was not for me, you know. And then as I mentioned, I had my daughter at 21. Uh, we did get married, you know, and that was interesting time of my life, Nate. I I I would call him my high school sweetheart, whom I married.

SPEAKER_00 7:45

So you had dated in high school, then you went to New York, but that was the long distance that you mentioned.

SPEAKER_02 7:49

Yep, you got it. And so we had our daughter, and it was just a tough time. It was a tough time. We really not to go too personal with that, but we we drifted apart and he kind of took a path that was not healthy. And there became a point where I knew I had to get out of that. And around the time I knew I had to leave, I found out I was pregnant with my son.

SPEAKER_01 8:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 8:12

So, you know, again, going back to church, it was like the whole idea of divorce, like it just there was just so many things that were happening that it just it never felt like a place that I would be welcomed. If that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 8:24

Yeah, no, it does. A lot of people easily can think, because of these things, yeah, why would I I wouldn't be welcome in church? And so, yeah, and we know that's kind of a spiritual warfare aspect that you know don't want you to hear this, want you to feel guilty and and about these things rather than see a hope in in and through them.

SPEAKER_02 8:43

So absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 8:44

So second son, and then you did have to go through divorce.

SPEAKER_02 8:48

Yeah, so we actually went through the divorce while I was pregnant with my son. So I found out I was pregnant with him and was terrified. Like, okay, I'd already made the decision to leave at that point, but I knew I couldn't stay. I have a very supportive family. I I moved back in with my parents with my daughter, and then, you know, pregnant expecting my son, going through the divorce, and it was hard. It was really hard, Nate. And, you know, I felt very alone in those, in those years, especially because I was young still, right? Going through that. So a lot of my friends were not moms yet, or you know, fortunately for them, not going through a divorce while pregnant either. So it just I didn't have anybody to really connect with other than my co, you know, my close family, which I'm grateful for. But it was just a really lonely period of time. And while I was going through that, I was still trying to build the boutique. So I still had the business. So I always say I was a baby with a baby building a business.

SPEAKER_00 9:46

Building a baby business. The baby business. Yeah, yeah.

Building A Business To Survive The Pain

SPEAKER_02 9:49

And yeah, and at that time, really what I did was I just kind of dove into work. So the boutique was my distraction from like the chaos that was happening in my life. But I put everything into that business as far as like I just I need my sadness to go somewhere else. And so I built this incredible community with my boutique. And I don't think still they realize how much they were actually there for me during that time. You know, eventually I had when I had my son and we went through a horrible custody battle and things. And when I was sharing at one point, when I say sharing, you know, there's a lot anybody who's been through a custody situation can understand there's just a lot of different variables to it. But so when I say sharing, there were weekends where I wasn't without the kid, or maybe the kids, or maybe just a Saturday. And I always planned my store events around the times when I didn't have them so I could have a distraction, and that community was just there for me in in more ways than I could ever say. But yeah, I was I was very alone. I was very alone during those years. Sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:56

And I know a little my story, my parents divorced when I was nine. So just the impact of that, you know, when you're having a separated family and now you're a single mom, and you know, there's just credit, no offense to single moms, but they can't do God designed it with two parents. So you're trying to do two jobs in one and and then also have work. And yeah, just like you described, it's easy. We need something to find our identity in, and you know, family and home life's not going well. So hey, work is a is an outlet for many. It sounds like that's how that you know definitely played out for you.

SPEAKER_02 11:29

Absolutely, absolutely, and business was it was a great outlet. And I, you know, I had the boutique for 10 years, a very, you know, successful business, you could say, on paper. But behind the scenes, it was it was hard. It was really, really hard. I did get remarried, so this is a unique part of my story. There are a lot of unique parts here, Nate. But when my son was about three months old, I reconnected with my husband now, Matt. We call him MP. So we we have known each other for quite a long time. He's actually really good friends with my brother. So we tease a married, you know, my brother's friend. But he uh has a son. My oldest is my stepson, and we've become a blended family, which now I know is God's timing. You know, we have both gone down different paths of previous relationships and life, right? And we we kind of reconnected when Jace was literally a baby, and so he has really stepped up and has been there for me and you know, really created that family environment that I always wanted, that happy home that I always wanted. And so we got married a few years after that, and yeah, we are we are a blended bunch.

SPEAKER_00 12:39

Okay, yes, so remarried and yeah, coming through that relationship. So, you know, obviously kind of telling the story of you know, finding outlets, you know, how did kind of as far as religion quote unquote still something that's kind of way out there, something I don't I don't have any interest in.

SPEAKER_02 12:56

Yeah, way out there, Nate. I mean, the fact that I'm sitting here sharing a testimony to you is still wild to me, and especially still wild to friends and family and and even the boutique community I was a part of because I was so far from that, you know, and not somebody who I think I I felt like God would pull me out of.

SPEAKER_00 13:17

Looking back, are there any ways you saw God kind of slowly working, planting seeds? How was God kind of working behind the scenes, which you say last time?

SPEAKER_02 13:26

Totally. So I'll I'll kind of speed up a little bit here because I think then everything will pull together. But right around the time when I felt like it was time to close the boutique, right? I mean, 10 years we were open when 2020 hit COVID. My husband was a paramedic at the time. We had three kids in school, small business, we were kind of hit at all angles, you know, and so the doors were closed to the shop. My husband first responder, like it was just the kids' virtual learning, it was chaos, Nate. It was chaos. But and I went from a staff of about 12 to just being a one-woman show again. So we were, I was trying to keep the business alive, and luckily I'd built this audience, this community online to where we were able to keep the business going with online sales, which was incredible. I mean, we had an insane year that year in sales.

SPEAKER_00 14:17

So it'd be 2020.

Blended Family And A New Beginning

SPEAKER_02 14:18

2020, and then into 2021, really, and then when we were finally able to open again, like every like a lot of people, my priorities just really felt like they were shifting. And in boutique world and business, it's hustle, hustle, hustle, like you know, you're it's busy. And I just really felt like I was craving to slow down, like I really wanted to slow down. But it was a hard thing to explain because it was like, well, I could bring the staff back in, I could keep going, I could keep pushing. Like there was really no huge reason to shut the business down, other than like I just felt done. I just felt done at that same time. Another personal aspect that I won't go too far into, but you know, I had a personal situation that was really difficult, and it just felt like my time needed to be there, my energy and all that. So I just knew it was time to close the doors. And when I did that, Nate, I was lost. I was like, okay. Again, I didn't have a relationship with God at this point, but I'm like, what am I doing? Why am I closing the doors to this business? So I love to read. I was in Barnes and Noble one day, and I had this stack of books, Nate, like all the personal development, all the self-help, all the books you can imagine. I'm not kidding. It was probably like a stack of 10 books. And for the first time ever in my life, I heard God speak to me and he said, There's only one book you need. And so I left that day with my first ever Bible.

SPEAKER_01 15:44

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 15:44

First ever Bible, Nate. And I'm like, what is happening? Like, I don't know. What did I just hear? What am I doing? Put all those books away, and I left that day with a Bible. And I didn't realize there were different versions of the Bible, you know. So I left with the King James Version and reading through the pages, it just felt like blurry. Literally looking at it. I'm like, I don't know where to start, where to begin with this. But that was really my first encounter with God.

SPEAKER_00 16:13

He was calling you. And I think like you described finding our identity and work, then you remove that, you realize just how much of yourself you're finding yourself, and then but that'll let you down, right? Like it's not there forever, it's not something you can count on. You know, people find in work, people can find it in family, people can find it in so many places. But I think that's uh you know, just seeing how ultimately that's uh Ecclesiastes is my favorite book of the Bible. It's like it's all vapor, right? It's all chasing wind if we don't view it rightly, but yeah, but God, right? Still speaking, reaching out to you through these circumstances. So now we have a Bible. We don't really know exactly in King James. That's you know, tough way to start, but some people do, you know, we won't get into all that, but uh thee and thou and it was interesting.

2020 Upheaval And Shifting Priorities

SPEAKER_02 17:02

Yeah, so yeah, and I just didn't know where to go with it. And I realized, you know, I realize now I was just in pure survival mode. So like I never took time, you know, as a mom, a single mom, and then going through a divorce and then building a business and then finding love again and and a new family. And like I was just always in go, go, go, go, go. I never had time to just pause, you know, and be still. And now I have this Bible and I'm like, I don't know where to start. What am I doing here? You know, and I'd like to say that I just dove right in, but that's not the reality, right? And but what I did do is like, okay, I'm gonna give this a try. God, if you are talking to me, I will do my best to listen. And I knew he wanted me to read this Bible. I don't know how to explain it, Nate. I just I knew, I knew. So I started doing some research online. I started watching some online sermons. I got into a bit of a routine where every Sunday I would, I'm an artist, I love to paint. So I would paint in my art room and listen to online sermons every Sunday. That I just kind of let that become, you know, a routine for me. And I over time, you know, God was speaking to my heart and started revealing things through stories of the Bible that just started making sense to me. And what happened for me was that I realized all of those years where I felt like I was alone, I wasn't. I wasn't, and then I could start to look back and see how God has been with me every step of the way, especially the hard moments, right? Because I always just had this unexplained strength of like, I know I can get through this, I know I can get through this, I have to get through this, you know. And now I can look back so clearly and be like, thank you, God, thank you. And you know, so it took me a while to come to church. I I enjoyed the online sermons, I learned a lot. Something I watched, which I know is sort of controversial, but I I a friend recommended the chosen. I but with that series, I knew I needed to go back to the Bible. That was something God was really clear with me was like, watch this. Every episode, they I don't know if you've Yeah, I've seen a few of it. Not the whole thing. Okay, every episode shares, you know, a story of the Bible, and but I went back to my Bible every time, and I was able to dive deeper into his word that way. And so he just started revealing himself to me. And you know, again, I I look back and I'm like, I have all the proof I need that you are real and that you have been in my life. Yeah, so that was that was probably about a year or so that I was doing that.

Hearing God At Barnes & Noble

SPEAKER_00 19:42

Kind of a journey, God's really drawing you in. And we see he's been there all along, you know. I think just from my own personal story, when I reflected, I had this just undeniable desire that I needed to get to Charleston, South Carolina. And I didn't know why, I just loved the city and I wanted to be there. And that's ultimately where God really revealed the truth and the gospel, and I came to faith. And now, you know, it was a cool place, but if I don't go back, I'm cool. But there was just this desire, so very similar way that God reaches to us of bringing us to that point of the truth, right? Recognizing who he is or who we are, all that we've been through. So so over that kind of year, you know, like jumping into sermons, you know, what really brought you to that point of like faith, of belief.

Learning Scripture And Online Sermons

SPEAKER_02 20:25

I because I've been somebody who likes to plan, set goals, you know. I even though I had closed the boutique, I'm still somebody who likes to, I'm a go-getter. Like I just, I just am. But with that, you know, you get in your own way of planning. And something I am still learning, but really learned during that season, was like you can't get ahead of God's plan for you. And that has been one of the biggest lessons, and still, you know, will continue to be a big lesson for me because I can find myself wanting to build, build a business, build this, do that, right? Like I have just so many big goals and dreams. But then now, like, especially that year, I was able to kind of strip back of like, well, is this really what God wants for me? Is this where he wants me to be? You know, and but I was still trying to navigate on my own. So I was a part of a few online groups, you know, one specifically was a Christian entrepreneur group, which was great. And they had like a weekly Bible study, and it was just a really great online community to tap into, but I felt like God was wanting me to be in person and and really find a community in person. So the guy who was leading that was really encouraging me to find a local church. And so the first one that came to mind was Life House. And the reason is because I've been to Life House before. When I had my boutique, there the women's conferences that were held here. I actually set up in this room, Nate, where we are. I had a table and I was selling clothes. clothes. So somebody at the church had reached out, asked if I wanted to be a part of it was like a vendor sort of setup thing. So I had been here. I had been in Life House. So I had met, you know, women who go here and and so it was just, and I again I don't live far. So Life House was just kind of the first one that popped in my mind. But of course I had my own plan that I was going to go to different churches every Sunday and try them out. But the first Sunday I came here, which was July, so we're seven months ago I I knew I was home. Like it was great. I sobbed. I cried the first I still cry almost every Sunday. But I came by myself and I'm like, you know, I just I just want to see what this feels like. And I was afraid I was so afraid to walk in. I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know if there would be questions I had to answer or you know like you just don't know especially not growing up going to church. I had no idea what it would be like and everybody was so welcoming. I sat by myself I cried and I I can't even tell you how it's hard to put into words what that day did to me. But yeah that was about a year and a half I'd say maybe almost two years after I bought the Bible.

SPEAKER_00 23:15

Kind of journeying to that point and yeah like you say everything you share that you've been through it can be intimidating because the world wants you to think that you're going to be judged and I have a family member on my wife's side who's like oh the church will catch on fire if I walk in I literally said that I was somebody who would say that yes I would say I you know I would be afraid the church would burn down.

SPEAKER_02 23:36

I mean I've had so many weird things happen to me like I shared on a Facebook post not that long ago. So I'm slowly starting to share I I feel like God wants me to share with the community that I've built with the boutique which is just interesting. But I shared a post where it was like I was the one who thought the church would burn down if I walked in it. I was told once that I pray I was praying wrong at a funeral you know I was pregnant at my first wedding and somebody there told me I shouldn't be wearing a white dress. Like I've just had all these little things said to me that just it does it puts up a wall and like truly a misconception of what it feels like to be a part of a church.

SPEAKER_00 24:15

It's always unfortunate you know we have you know people who've had church hurt or like you say just religious hurt of people who and we don't know why they said those things. They may have been misconstrued but they certainly were not showing the love of Christ you know in those situations. So why it's you know just for those of us who do believe why the interactions we have are pretty important in terms of truth in love is one of my favorite like speak the truth you know but in love that there is hope in all situations.

SPEAKER_01 24:43

So yes.

SPEAKER_00 24:44

So it's been like you say seven eight months really coming to that point of you know getting in community, you know putting your faith in Christ you know how has God really been working? How's that been helping you grow? How do you really feel it's you know transforming you.

First Visit To Life House Church

SPEAKER_02 24:58

Yeah well you know it's interesting because one of the things I struggle with you know as a mom, right? Our kids are 16, 14 and 11. And this was something I kind of struggled with prior to I I call it my journey with Jesus when you're a young mom you you tend to feel like behind with you're growing up with your kids, right? So like there was this layer of guilt of like I felt behind with what I was able to experience with my kids. And it feels that way a little bit now too because all of a sudden mom loves Jesus you know and so my kids 16 14 and 11 are not used to going to church either. My husband not used to going to church either he's very supportive he loves me dearly it's just these are big conversations we're having in our home right now you know and something I've realized and I can kind of share how I've been plugged in with the church with community because I have learned so much Nate about just the way that God truly loves me and there's just so many layers but you know it's one of those things where I realize that I'm not it's not my job to save others but to let others see Christ in me. You know and that's something that's been really hard because at 16 14 and 11 there's a lot of sass in my house yes a lot of that adolescent teenagers to be here but I really want them to be here you know so there's some Sundays where I am walking in by myself but there's some Sundays where my husband's here's some Sundays where you know my daughter's here or my son's here and I just pray pray pray and I also know that God has given me grace too like this is silly but a couple Sundays ago my daughter was in the sanctuary listening to Pastor Mark and she was playing with slime at the same time. I'm like God give me grace she's here she's here you know so it's it's a journey in all aspects of my life right now and it it's hard but I know God's speaking to their hearts and I know they're watching me.

SPEAKER_00 27:08

Amen and that's the difference right the change that is in us like you say we can't change their hearts or their minds but we can be a testimony while we're on this podcast right sharing our stories of how God changed us. You know like where we were I used to be very much we have some commonality you know I used to be all about my work and my officiating and you know God really turning a lot of those things around over time and and so yeah but how we can set those examples you know in our family and through prayer you know when we see the difference like the gospel's appealing you know like that I can have a relationship. The love of God not just too too much of the conception everybody wanted to share the holy God with you who's going to strike you with lightning rather than the God who loved you and died for you and made a way for you to have forgiveness.

SPEAKER_02 27:56

It's not as scary as it seemed you know and and one of the to kind of go back to just what I thought church would be like right I thought I had to be here every Sunday with my Sunday and with my husband and all of our kids and obviously that's I'm praying for that but the church still loves me and accepts me and wants me to be here you know and and they ask about them and how they can pray for them and it's just it just feels so loving and accepting. It's just so it's so different than what I thought Nate it's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 28:26

Absolutely so so it's been reorienting and and just coming to that you know like I say understanding and belief. Anyways you know again kind of looking back at you know who you were versus who you are you shared kind of some of those misconceptions you know about believing what Christianity in general I think was all about but how it's continuing to change you how it's you're seeing it change your life.

Misconceptions, Judgment, And Real Welcome

SPEAKER_02 28:49

Yeah every day every single day as far as like even down to just simple decisions that feel little you know or big decisions even like I just know it's so out of my hands now. And I was somebody who was trying to be in control for so long of a lot of different situations. I had a lot of forgiveness that I needed to get through I had a lot of just pain and hurt by certain people that I needed to figure out how to get through but there's just been this level of release that like you don't have to get through it alone. You know in all those years where I thought I was alone I was never alone I'm somebody who's struggled with anxiety depression I've been on medication for both and you know not no medical advice here but me personally I have found that I can I I've I stopped taking those medications and I'm able to really just you know hand everything over to God and and trust him and that's scary to do it's scary and but every day I am just having conversations with God and I never like I can't even it's hard for me to even say those words out loud because I just I just truly can't believe it. But I can see and I think others around me too can see how I just feel a bit lighter and like I am not in control and letting that be okay trusting his plan for me and then also surrendering everything to him. You know I can't control my husband's salvation I can't control my kids' salvation I can't I there's only certain things that I can control in those situations and I can just be a good mom a good wife and love them all so much and know that you know God loves them too.

SPEAKER_00 30:36

And Jesus tells us cast our cares on him his burden is light and a lot of times we carry it needlessly having to make all the plans and everything when I've come to this right whatever I think God has something 10 times better than what I can think.

SPEAKER_02 30:51

And I still struggle with that right I got this great idea and it's like no no no well now I can look back and be like okay God I don't need any more proof that you're able to do that in my life because I can look back and see how you did do that in my life right like when I found out I was going to be a mom at 21 I thought that was the end. Even then until now it's like so much he's done going through a divorce like I thought that was the end closing the shop I'm like what am I gonna do? This is all I know this is who I am it's like nope nope there's so much more there's so much more but being able to truly you know listen to it that that's been I think the most challenging thing for me because is well I'm surrounded by a lot of nonbelievers still I live in a very secular world still and that can be challenging but also those are the conversations I want to have because that I get right like I can understand how do I know God's talking to me. Like I get that question you know and my what I have found Nate the answer for me has been diving deeper into his word and reading scripture that's where you hear from God. And it took me a long time to figure that out I'm still obviously figuring that out but you know he has answers for us if we slow down to listen.

Parenting Teens While Growing In Faith

SPEAKER_00 32:03

Yes that makes sense. Oh yeah it's when we're talking and making our plans it's hard for us to allow God. That's one thing we did a prayer class in the fall and one of the prayer types was silence. Yeah yes yes it is but a lot of people don't think about oh I gotta play players of adoration and confession and have you ever tried just being quiet and you know listening for the Lord but it's hard especially in our society that is very fast paced. I think you mentioned COVID accelerated everything and really just made it worse. You know we won't get into all the mind but man there's just so much every day so much noise. Yes noise is a really good way that we don't stop. It's it's a story I shared very briefly I heard it at a conference I went to of a woman who uh sponsored a young child overseas and wasn't sure it was a thing but went over to visit the child and they lived in this dirt hut you know with a dirt floor and the mom and child came out and so excited to see her and you know like oh wow this is amazing you know that I've been able to help these people and they come and want to pray for her and she's like why do you want to pray for me? You guys live in a dirt hut and they're like oh no no you live in America you're so distracted you don't see God here all we see is God. So just kind of building on your point of it's so true.

SPEAKER_02 33:17

And I think some of the most profound moments for me are when I've been silent. And that's very hard to do date right because you know you got a busy house they're up at we start our day at six like it's just loud all the time you know so even if there are moms listening to this it's like yeah okay but how do I find quiet time? You know sometimes my quiet time with God for the day is in the car on the way here or in the grocery store if I have headphones plugged in or in the bathroom you know it's like wherever you can find that quiet time if you can just stop scrolling for a minute and like truly just check in with God for the day, find those pockets of time is just it's been I mean it's been life changing for me.

SPEAKER_00 33:58

Amen. Well any other encouragement maybe people who are struggling you know either with church or maybe not coming to you know really know the Lord any ways of things that were hang ups I know we talked about a few but any encouragement you'd have that was you know helpful along the way?

Control, Surrender, And Daily Trust

SPEAKER_02 34:15

Yeah I think for me I just think back to like the beginning when I first got that Bible right like I was afraid to come into church because I didn't know how to read a Bible you know as basic as that I didn't know how to find a verse in the Bible. I didn't know what it meant to go to the book of John. Like I just didn't know you know and you don't need to know you don't need to have all the answers you don't need to know I I still don't have scripture memorized you know I would love to I'm starting to read more and and trying but like it's just I felt like I needed to know more than I did in order to build a relationship with God and he already knows everything about you he knows everything about you and that felt like such a weight lifted off my shoulders because like I don't have to explain anything to him he already knows. He already and you know for me being surrounded by women of faith my sisters in Christ that has been I could cry talking about that Nate like I I was not afraid to find people in the church when I came here like I knew I was coming in I wanted to make friends because I didn't know what I was doing. And so that I would encourage anybody listening who just feels alone still or not quite sure where to start is to find one person that you can talk to. And there are so many I'm speaking to women mostly but men too here there's so many people at Lifehouse that are willing to you know just talk and listen and I've really learned a lot just listening to women pray over each other. You know I've never been in a room where women were praying for each other where somebody paused and prayed with me for me like just in the lobby like what you know I just yeah the we don't have to have all the answers and you don't have anything to prove God already knows absolutely everything about you.

SPEAKER_00 36:09

There's only one test to get into heaven and that's if you're in Christ, if you've trusted him really we have to come humbly honestly like knowing all these things doesn't save you. You know I know there's so many because the opposite of people who grow up in church can be on the other end of well I know all these things and I do know all the scripture okay but that's not what saves you. That's not what a true relationship is about.

SPEAKER_02 36:31

It's just love. It it has just felt and I I think it's a now at first it felt like I was behind in my faith. Now it feels like a gift Nate the more I get to hear other people's stories and things it's like I only know God is loving me. I don't know the harshness the you know and not that they're you know like I I just God met me at a low dark place and has really revealed himself to me as just love and you know it's it's not I don't know I just felt I always felt like it there was just like this like you said like a test or this judgment or this right or wrong way to be or and it's just so not that which has been really great.

SPEAKER_00 37:15

And I think too when we know his love we know that the things he tells us in his word his commands are for our good you know that's what I found so often of we think oh religion is like this straitjacket of all these rules and it's like no they're for my good like I don't want to be a liar I don't want to be somebody who steals I want to be someone who lives according to God's design for my life. You know so like these are good things. God loved us by showing us the best way to be more like him to relate to him in those ways. So we don't you know shouldn't experience that in a harsh way which gets into that legalistic side of that so much. So there is a truth like there is right and wrong we we shouldn't do the wrong things but it's in love that God cares for us enough to not be like yeah figure it out on your own no like hey here's how I designed you here's how you know I planned this all out you know sin screwed it all up but you know the opportunity's still there.

SPEAKER_02 38:12

Yeah and life does feel a lot like figuring it out on your own sometimes it's like really no you don't have to God gave you his word he spoke.

Quiet, Prayer, And Cutting Noise

SPEAKER_00 38:19

Yeah that's awesome. So and like you said the encouragement too some people can feel intimidated but reach out you know like in community God created us to be in community not to be isolated not to be on our own. So sometimes people are afraid but there are so many people that you know I a lot of us try to seek others but don't be afraid to you know find somebody you can you know latch on to that is just a little further along that's what I tell people I'm not perfect I just maybe I'm a little bit further and I can you know yeah and that's how I feel if anybody's listening to this and maybe your mom and can relate to anything I said I'm an open book and I would absolutely love love love to chat. Awesome. Well this has been really good Nikki hopefully this is like you say your kind of awesome journey and it's a lifelong journey. We we learn that it's you know not a one time thing but truly the gospel's not the end it's really the beginning right of our walk. So maybe we'll check in in a few years you know see how that's going how God continues to work in your life. But Lifehouse family thanks for joining us hopefully Nikki's stories encourage you never even know a vendor fair or who knows what might uh you know just plant those seeds of people feeling comfortable to come to be in church to you know hear God's word so we just never know ways and things that God will use. So that's awesome. So thank you for having me. Yep thanks for joining us and LifeTalk family we'll see you next time thanks for tuning in to the Life Talk podcast. If this episode encouraged you please be sure to like comment subscribe and leave a review so others can find this content as well and we'll look forward to seeing you next Monday for another great episode