John 21:15-17 - Do You Love Me? — Aneel Aranha

Hello and welcome to the Bite-Sized Gospel. Today, we will reflect on John 21:15-17. Listen.

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?" "Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my lambs." Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep." The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my sheep."

Do you love me? Have you ever asked somebody this question? Chances are that you have to find out if somebody you love loves you back or for reassurance of love from somebody you have loved for a long time. It is a relief to hear a ‘yes,’ is it not? It is heartbreaking when the answer is a ‘no.’ Jesus asks Peter this question here, not for affirmation or reaffirmation but to serve as restoration to a man who has denied him and feels terrible about it. And Jesus asked the question three times because Peter denied him three times.

But there is more happening here than restoration. In English, we have only one word for love, which is used in various contexts. However, the Greek language offers a more nuanced understanding of love through four distinct words. 

Eros represents romantic or passionate love, characterized by intense feelings of desire and longing, often involving physical attraction and strong emotional connection. 

Philia describes a deep friendship or brotherly love, marked by a strong bond between people sharing common interests, values, or experiences. 

Storge refers to familial or nurturing love, exemplified by the deep affection and attachment between parents and children or among siblings. 

Finally, agape represents a selfless or spiritual love characterized by a commitment to others' well-being and happiness, even at the cost of personal sacrifice. This form of love is the highest in Christian theology.

This passage is translated from Greek, which uses two of these words for love: agape and philia. In the first instance, when Jesus asks Peter if he loves him, he uses the word "agape,” referring to a selfless, sacrificial love. Peter, however, responds with "philia,” indicating brotherly affection or friendship. Yes, I love you, he appears to say, but not in the manner that you desire. 

The same thing happens the second time.

The third time, however, Jesus asks him if he loves him, stepping down, using the word “philia,” meeting Peter where he is. 

Jesus tells us to love him with everything we have — heart, mind, body, and soul — but he understands that at a particular moment, we might fall far short of the level he expects. However, he accepts us as we are, and as our relationship with him grows, so does our love for him. Peter was eventually martyred, showing that by the end of his life, he loved Jesus with the “agape” love that Jesus had desired.

As we reflect on this passage, let's ask ourselves: What kind of love do we have for Jesus right now? Are we content with where we are, or do we desire to grow in our love for him? How can we demonstrate our love for Jesus in our daily lives?

May we, like Peter, be honest about our current capacity to love Jesus. May we allow him to meet us where we are, and may we grow in our love for him day by day, striving towards that selfless, sacrificial, agape love that he exemplifies and desires from us.

God bless you.